The Next Step

Thank you for visiting my blog post!

I'm grateful for your support.  Really.

There's that old African proverb, "It takes a whole village to raise a child."  And by you taking a moment to read this, you're raising me.  So thank you.  I can honestly say there's been more than a hundred fine men and women who have nourished my dear daughter Soleil.

Now it's my turn to give back.  Let me start by asking a question:

"What's your next step?"

This a question that deserves more attention than "What should I do next?"

The "Next Step" is your bigger mission.  The "why" you and I want to make a difference.

My friend Brandon shared a story with me of an employee working for Apple Computers.  A visitor came by, oversaw a young man typing, and asked:

"What are you writing in your email?"


The young man, paused, looked back at the visitor and said resolutely:

"I'm not writing an email, I'm changing the world."

I really started to grasp that with my own little boy.  It clicked in one day while changing my son's diaper:

"I'm not changing a diaper, I'm nourishing a being of unlimited potential."

Plus, he's cute.

For years, I was always focused on the pay cheque (my next step).  And then, the bigger pay cheque.  But I've realized, the pursuit of money is dead-ended.  I believe money is an important vehicle, but I placed it above my family, my faith, and myself.  Sounds like a recipe for kaboom right?

I'm only learning now to give one thing.  One thing that has changed my life forever.  With it, I know I will succeed in any environment, without it I would rocket up and then *putt putt putt* crash, burn, and scatter.  This is it:

VALUE.

Value?  Yep.  What is value?  It's quite simple this:

It's what the other person wants.  And then some.

No.  It's really that simple.  Everybody has what my friend calls "Bulls-eyes".  Targets.  One of my targets is to do 4 sets of push-ups non-stop in the morning.  Another is to read 10 pages of the "Slight Edge" by Jeff Olson.  But this is the really cool part:

You can share your bulls-eyes with others.  For example:

I asked my wife JH if she could find ways to admire me in my role as a provider and father at home. It wouldn't destroy our relationship if she didn't, but it was a target to say "Hey!  Here's an awesome way I feel loved and empowered.  I will feel even more loved if I were to receive admirations in this aspect of my life.  Here's an "

Best part is.  JH took a shot.  Thwack!  Bulls-eye.

Not only did I feel amazing.  I wanted to know what her bulls-eyes were too.  Thwack!  Thwack!

This creates something pretty cool in a relationship.  Momentum.

So here's something awesome you can do with whoever you want:

Share 2-3 specific appreciations/admirations to the other person and share why.

For example, I said to DB:

"I really admire the fact that you have an open mind and share your ideas freely when you're like "Hey man, can I share with you what I loved about that Pasadena trip?".  I also really admire the fact that you have such a strong desire to learn and are willing to go the extra mile to set up coaching calls so we can learn even more.

And, could I share something with you that would make our friendship even better?

If you could follow-up with me regarding the coaching call that would be awesome.  Because right now, I'm super busy, and just having someone to follow up would be awesome!  How does that sound?"

Word of caution: I don't use this every single time.   Otherwise, I create the expectation that each time I share appreciations or admirations I'm going to dish out something need to improve or corrective feedback.  Some people call it "throwing them under the bus."  *BUMP BUMP*

An important distinction, take it or leave it, it's not for everybody, but more often than not, this guideline has been super helpful for me.

For women: generally, they like appreciations for what they've done
For men: generally, they enjoy admirations for what they've done and attributes of a hero

This is just one little thing Brandon Broadwater and the Higher Laws Team (higherlaws.com) has shared with me and I've enjoyed awesome results!  They also did an exercise at their 3 day event that literally saved my life.

I hope this blog was of value to you.  What future topics would you like for me to blog about in the future to get the results you're looking for?  Money, influence, relationships, mortgages, it's all open.

I love you guys!

Have an awesome week!

What's one thing you enjoy this week that would make you smile? :-)